How to choose, when you have no idea where to start
Most guidance on this starts with the language of flowers, the
Victorian code in which every bloom carries a message. It is a real
piece of history and it is almost entirely irrelevant to sending
someone flowers today, because the person receiving them is not
decoding anything. What they notice is whether the flowers are
fresh, whether the gesture fits the relationship, and whether it
turned up when it was supposed to.
Three things actually decide it.
The relationship, not the flower
The same bouquet can be thoughtful from a friend and
uncomfortable from a colleague. Scale and color carry that
signal far more than the species does.
Color, which people do still read
The one part of the old symbolism that survives in daily
use, and the one place a genuine misfire is possible.
There is a short guide below.
Where it is going
A hospital ward, a funeral home, an office and a house
each have their own constraints, and some of them are hard
rules rather than preferences.
Color is the part that still carries meaning
Nobody will read a hidden message into your choice of flower. Color
is different, because it is read instantly and without thinking
about it.
- Red is romantic, and only romantic. It is the
one color that can genuinely embarrass everybody if it goes to
a colleague, a client or a friend.
- White reads as formal: sympathy, weddings,
apology, new beginnings. Safe almost everywhere, and never
celebratory.
- Yellow is friendship, congratulation and
cheer. Worth knowing that in parts of Latin America and
Eastern Europe it carries associations with grief or jealousy,
so it is one to think about if the recipient grew up
elsewhere.
- Pink and peach are gratitude, admiration and
warmth. This is the safest register for a thank you, a
get well or a gesture toward someone you do not know well.
- Orange and bright mixes read as energy and
celebration: birthdays, graduations, new homes.
The rules that are not optional
Almost everything about sending flowers is a matter of taste. These
few things are not, and each of them is a genuine mistake rather
than a preference.
- Lilies and cats. True lilies, which is the
genus Lilium, and daylilies cause fatal kidney failure
in cats. Every part is dangerous, including the pollen and the
water in the vase. A cat that brushes past and grooms itself
has taken a dose. If the household has a cat, ask the florist
for anything else. Calla lilies and peace lilies are different
plants that share the name and cause only mouth irritation, but
if you are not certain which you are buying, avoid all of
them.
- Hospitals frequently ban them. Intensive care,
cancer and transplant units usually will not accept fresh
flowers at all, and many general wards have their own rules.
One phone call saves a delivery that gets turned away at the
door.
- Check the funeral notice. Where a family has
asked for donations instead of flowers, that is a request, not
a formality.
- Scent is not always a bonus. In a hospital
room, a small apartment or an open-plan office, a heavily
scented arrangement affects everyone in it.
Where the money actually goes
Two arrangements at the same price can be wildly different, and the
difference is rarely the number of stems. What you are paying for is
the flowers themselves, the labor of building it, and the delivery.
Only the first of those is visible.
Three things move the total more than anything else. The
date, because the week of Valentine's Day or Mother's Day
prices differently from the week either side of it.
Whether your choice is in season, which decides
whether a stem was cut nearby or flown in.
And how specific you are, because naming exact
flowers in exact colors forces the florist to buy for your order
rather than build from what is already good in the bucket.
That last one is the easiest saving available. Give a florist a
color, a budget and the occasion, and ask for designer's choice.
It is usually both cheaper and fresher than working from a
photograph. Our seasonal guide covers which
weeks are the expensive ones, and you can
find a florist near you to ask.
